My Personal Roast of Steve Hofmeyr

South Africa started another TV show based on an American show... What a surprise! So, our first Comedy Central Roast involved lame humor and failed attempts of roasting Steve Hofmeyr.

Now, it's no secret that the roast sucked. There were a few good lines, but really, no roasting actually happened.

So, I know that I am no comedian, but I could have done better. If I offend you, or anything about you, please feel free to GTFO.

Let me start by saying that if Steve was made in God's image, we all understand why Casper de Vries is an atheist.

The difference between Julius Malema and Steve Hofmeyr is this... The police are trying to remove Julius from society.

His mind may have gone on vacation, but his mouth is still working overtime.

I am grateful for Steve Hofmeyr, he made it easy for me to recognize idiots at a braai. If they know the song, they're idiots, and if they own the CD, they're brain dead.

Looking at Steve, I don't know what Casper or Sharlene sees in men...

He also made idiots on the road identify themselves by hanging blue balls on their cars, which looked suspiciously the same as the outfit he was wearing.

We know that there is a recession and you have to save money, but Steve, condoms in South Africa are free. When you register your next child, or visit a hospital, just check the bathrooms... It costs an average of R6,4-million to raise a child.

There is a theory that with the way you are populating South Africa, within the next 6 generations all of our DNA will match.

We all know that Steve can get carried away sometimes. The only problem is it's never far enough.

He had to leave his last wife due to illness. She got sick of him.

Steve is a great singer. He has no equal. Everybody is better.

He may not look like much, but believe it or not he shows up many of the great thinkers of our age. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating. But at least he's disproved Darwin's theory of evolution.

He puts the FUN in dysFUNctional.

He’s afraid nobody will remember him when he’s gone. Gee, I can think of several reasons he’ll be remembered. He wouldn’t like any of them, but I can think of them.

Steve, all that you are, you owe to your parents. I know a good lawyer.

My heart stopped last night when I heard you sing. Then the neighbors phoned and apologized for their voiceless dog.

Well... That's it!