Joys of being a waitress

I've been a waitress since the age of 17, I'm 24. I've done other things as well, but I've been a waitress the majority of my working life.

I don't particularly enjoy it, but I have nice moments, like today. Huge tips on small bills make me happy, coming home with 25% tips and finding out that my shift pay was paid in today makes me happy. Money can't buy happiness, but getting money for doing the minimal is worth my time.

Now, not everyone can provide a service such as waiting, so, I am special in my own way. There are horrible waiters in every restaurant, they get your orders wrong, they don't smile or try to be friendly in any way, they might even be rude, and they are definitely slower than cancer.

I on the other hand smile, and chat, and make jokes, and I'm fast. Now and then I do forget a few small things like straws or extra napkins, but I don't get orders wrong, I have a talent of memorizing everything, and I sincerely care about what is served to customers.

Then on the other hand, if you're going to be cocky or rude or arrogant, don't expect anything from me, except if you're friends with the owners. I won't care if you wait for your drinks, I'll smoke an extra cigarette, just so you won't be able to find me to place another order, because I know you've never been a waiter, you haven't served anyone in return for tips, you don't know how a restaurant works, and maybe... Just maybe... YOU SHOULD HAVE ORDERED IN!

My rule is: "If you're not going to pay for service, don't ask for it."


If you've waited, you know what a sad moment is if you have a large table, a huge bill, and a lousy tip. That's the reason people spit in your food.

The funniest is if a customer thinks everyone knows what he's drinking. This particular customer is the poster child of naivety. He will hand you an empty glass and say "can you get me another one?". No I can't. Do I look psychic? The ice has melted away the last bit of aroma and I can't even smell what was in that glass...

Idiots.

My favorite one is: "I want a steak and chips."

We serve rump, sirloin, and T-bones. They come in different sizes. Then there are six different levels of having them done, most commonly MEDIUM.

Is it that hard to order steak?

Here's another one, a huge reason why I have a limited amount of female friends. Most girls are irritating. They order brandy and coke, you take it to them and then they ask: "Can we have straws please?"

Sure, I'll walk all the way back to the bar, get two useless, plastic straws and watch you destroy the environment. Why do I say destroy the environment? They use one straw only once, because with the next round of drinks they want new straws.

Another reason I don't like this:

SOUTH AFRICANS DON'T DRINK BRANDY AND COKE WITH F-ING STRAWS.

I like it when people order weird drinks though, like double tequila and lime on the rocks. Or instead of a jagerbomb, they drink banana liqueur with creme soda.

I hate it when people ask what our cheapest shot is. Really? Think of something you like and order it. Easy. I also hate it when people ask what shots we have. My answer: "A lot." And no, I'm not going to stand there and name all of them. If you want a parrot, buy one, don't go places to make people say stupid stuff.

Bottom line is, my children WILL be waiters one day to make sure they get common sense which should actually be more common.

Lust for life

My sister almost got high jacked a few days ago. She drove away, balls of steel. It made me think, because she was extremely traumatized afterwards, I think I would have done the same.

I have a bucket list, it contains things like bungee jumping, getting a tattoo, traveling the world, and weirder things like learning how to shoot with a rifle, getting tick fever, overcoming some horrible disease, and surviving a car accident.

Some things, once again, make me appreciate life a little bit more, and it makes me want to plan a better life for myself.

Recently I started cycling, I look ridiculous doing it, my balance is off, and I'm not that good at it, but it's a start to a better life.

My dad's cholesterol is normal for the first time in 16 years, mine has gone up to 5.4, and it has to be below 4.9. Oops.

Getting back on topic, I was thinking about trainspotting, how a guy changed his life around and made the best of himself... Almost...

Anyway, at the beginning of the move (or the end, i forget) Rent says:

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

I'm going to have a wonderful life with work related stress, financial problems, car problems, house problems, and struggle with health for the rest of my life whilst trying to keep relationships in order, and trying to find myself till the day I die. I don't know where I'll see myself in ten years, I don't know that I will drive away when someone tries to high jack me. I want hobbies, and dinner parties with fancy entrees and delightful deserts, maybe start a small business, but definitely have enough to provide for my family. I hope that I will be successful in my career, and with raising children, and I really hope that I will make a difference in this world, a major one.

I don't want to be famous, I want to have a name.

Troy

The story, the real story, of Troy is all about love, deceit, and jealousy. The love for Helen of Troy caused a whole city to be brought down.

Recently, I had a thing with my first love again. It wasn't a mistake, it just put my life into perspective. I can do better. I need someone better. I wrote him the last letter I will ever write to him. Short and sweet, I wish him the best of luck, and we're not part of each other's futures.

I haven't given it to him, its not time yet.

We've hurt each other in the past. He can't burn me down anymore, but there is no point in staying in touch, except for the fact that he can fix my car.

Cutting my losses is all what life is about now.

Building up my future is the beginning of my dreams.

I applied for the Metro Police, this is my third application. If that doesn't work, I'll be going to the best forensic investigative company in the country. Win-win.

Then, I'll get a house, get friends to live with me to pay it off, and then soon, buy a second house. Get a car, get furniture, maybe start a business on the side...

Travel, go see my friends and family in Europe.

My biggest obstacle right now is my fitness, its been a year and a half and I still haven't done right. The past two weeks I've pushed myself to the limits, we'll see if it pays off in two weeks.

I wrote a letter to myself as well, and I promised the world to myself.

LOL.

All in the mind, but I'm going to build up my own empire. And I'm going to get myself everything I want and need.

And somewhere along the line, I need to find out exactly who I am and what I am capable of.

This life is going to be worth it.

Short and sweet.

Ok, I got a new job, been there for a few months now, my last assignments have been handed in, time to study now... Tests in October.

The stalker guy owes me money, and I will hunt him down, again... Found him a few weeks ago, and its "my fault". I won't elaborate, I'll just work myself up and won't be able to sleep.

My daddy turned 60!!!!

I bought mommy books for her birthday and she's still reading, she loves Wilbur Smith.

Got a new someone. Over it.

Thinking of a new someone... We'll see.

Started quite a few arguments the past few weeks over religion.

Applied for a job for next year at Nexis Forensics, have to get my certificates first.

Thinking of moving out again.

Thinking of doing a lot of things.

Want to travel.

UK.

Got diagnosed with Right Bundle Branch Block.

Misdiagnosed.

Have to lose weight and get fit.

Got a Blackberry.

Haven't activated BBM.

Need to.

Made new friends.

Made new enemies.

I don't have to like everyone.

Stressed.

But I don't care.



Tired.

Going to bed.

Pulling on the String

Maybe it just feels as though everything is falling apart. I don't have a job, working on it. The new boy is getting old and irritating. My studies are weeks behind. And its all my fault.

It reminds me of where Shrek tells Donkey that onions have layers. Peeling off my layers to find out whats really important seems to be a difficult task. There are too many things I want to do, and just too little motivation. It makes giving up look easy. And it is. Too easy.

Finding the silver lining is easy.

Motivations are found in quotes. Deeds happen in the spur of the moment.

So, plan of action is too rush my assignments, get rid of the new boy, and find a job fast. Although I've already communicated with my (hopefully) future temporary employer, nothing has been finalized.

I'm also thinking of paying a friend to help with my assignments. Grin. That's what lawyers are for, right? Paying for legal services.

Northern Cape

So, there isn't much to do there... Its dessert. Beautiful open aired dessert.

We stopped and slept over at a small bed and breakfast, paid R150 per person, loved that little place.

So, we went to Kimberley. Small, crappy, run down town, filled with filth and roads that don't work. It was such a mission driving around there. We stopped at one monument, it has a canon... Then we went to the "Groot Gat".



Beautiful.

Only thing that irritated me was that they took away my favorite museum... The one with the old dresses and suits and fans and hats and pretty antique accessories. Its gone. The moths ate it.

Then back to Pretoria, screaming with road rage as we entered Gauteng.

I swear I'm moving down to Cape Town.

Wine Route, Western Cape

Well, we did the Wine Route in 2 days, mainly because I don't plan trips, I just make it happen.

The wine route is quite large, and you would have to drive around a lot. Here's a map, because I'm too lazy to write everything.



There's a lot of hooha about Stellenbosch, although it is really beautiful, there's much more to the whole wine route than you would think. Like Butterfly World in Paarl, its filled with amazing animals, not just butterflies, there are iguanas, birds, tortoises, crocodiles, and I can't remember the rest. If you do photography as a hobby, like my German friend, you'll have a blast. You'll have a blast anyway!



Then there was a few monuments we visited. The first on my list is the Afrikaanse Taal Monument. I am extremely passionate about this monument, because the people that worked there made me extremely mad. The food we ate was awesome! We had pancakes. Nice, traditional, South African pancakes. What upset me was the fact that the government is trying to brainwash the youth into thinking black people created Afrikaans. I'm not racist, I just hate liars. So, Afrikaans is actually known as the kitchen language of Europe, the poor slaves used to speak it, and some of them came to South Africa for better opportunities. Although the settlers were from France, Portugal, Holland, Spain, etc. Afrikaans still came from Europe. The brochure at the Afrikaanse Taal Monument actually say that the Afrikaans language originated in South Africa so that blacks and whites could understand each other. The minister of "let's create a new culture" must not have had history in high school, or primary school for that matter. Anyway, all my anger aside, I am glad to have been there.



The next monument on my list is the Huguenot Monument in Franschhoek. The funny thing about going there is that they charged us to go and see the damn thing, although the fences around it was as tall as my knees. Idiots. So, we paid, went in, and about 10 minutes later, the grandpa that stole our money, and probably had to go to bed at four in the afternoon, shouted at us, telling us the monument is closed. Again. Idiots. I love this monument. The detail and everything that its made of, just screams amazing! A must see. And if you go there and you can speak a foreign language, please give the old fart my regards. Oh, see if you can find Waldo. Grin.



Then, the last monument we went to go see, we found by accident. I got confused with the Huguenot Monument and a childhood memory, so, I never agree that I'm wrong and I decided that we we're going to look for it. I typed "monument" into the GPS, and we followed this ghost monument. We found the extremely small Dirkie Uys Monument in Somerset West. Its dirty, unprotected, and is in dire need of a relaunch or something. Dirkie Uys is one of the bravest little kids in our history. He died at the age of 15, against the Zulus. Someone needs to fix that place. Note the little "Hip Hop" graffiti.



Right, now to the fun stuff. Wine! We'll we didn't get as drunk as I was hoping, but we had fun, we went wine tasting at a little unknown something wine farm. They had two wines for us to taste. So, we left.



We went to the best place. Rhebokskloof Wine Estate in Paarl, we tasted wine, had lunch wile they saddled up the horses (oh, by the way, please book in advance, we didn't), went horse riding. So, the big boom in this story? The horse riding instructor's name is Michelle Mazurkiewicz. She works with horses in movies. She's worked with Samuel L. Jackson, and a few others. She worked with the horses in Racing Stripes, 300, The Ring, etc. Amazing. She had this saying when we didn't book the horse riding in advance: "horses, aren't like cars, you can't just start them and go. We need to catch them and saddle them up first." I like her.



It was good, I'll do it again...

I am Somebody's Stalker?

My life these days go like this: I sleep the whole day, wake up, get ready for work, go to work, go drinking, go home, spend time on the internet, sleep the whole day... And once a week I plan on changing my routine to study, exercise, diet, see friends, and do something worth writing of in this "nobody cares" blog.



So, on Tuesday (February 15th) life changed a bit. I met a new somebody, I don't call him somebody for privacy reasons, but because I can't remember his name for the life of me. His number is saved as "Dude" on my cellphone, and I remember his last name, but I don't know which spelling to use. I don't have him on Facebook, but I know where he lives.

It took me two weeks and R400 to find out that his name is Shaun. On St. Patric's Day he called me, he was looking for me. We went to go visit his mother in hospital on her death bed. Cute. He took me to meet his mother, because he knew she wouldn't live long. On Sunday, 20 March, his mother died. He borrowed money to bury her, and my car to get to work. Shhhh! Don't tell my dad.

He's not rich. He has intimacy and trust issues. I phone him when I'm drunk.

But I like him.

And St. Patric's Day was awesome!

A new year, starting off slow

First post of the year, and its February already. To recap on what has been going on, I failed one of my modules from last year, so, I'm not getting my certificate, funny thing is that it was the module I knew the best, I write so slow, that is why I failed, I didn't even get half way on the paper.

I enrolled for my next certificate: Anti Corruption and Commercial Crime Investigation, I started reading some of the books, and I have to say, it is the most interesting books to have. It includes crime scenes, how to investigate crime, how to interrogate suspects, collection of evidence, processing of evidence, court structures, laws, and my favorite, everything about ballistics and violent crimes.

More exciting news, I saw Rammstein on the 11th of February. It was awesome! I couldn't see much, and we decided to move to the back, I saw a little bit, the lights and flames were satisfying enough, so I am happy!


I am still single, although I am interested in a few horses. All of them just live too far away.

What I am more interested in is the "end of days" stories that are flooding the internet. I am a full blown atheist now, but I would love to have an ice age or some large scale catastrophe in my life time. There has to be something, there was the black plague, then the crusade murders, then all the hundreds of wars that killed thousands, and I think, in my life time, something huge has to happen, and I want to survive it.

Just my imagination...

OK, back to earth. I have new ambitions in life. I want to become an air hostess, or try for the police or army again. Because apparently, when the army says they don't accept applicants older than 23, it doesn't mean that they don't accept applicants older than 23.

And I STILL need to post more about my road trip.

Aye! Time flies...

Cape Town, Western Cape

I can't remember the dates anymore, and this is what happens when your telephone lines decide to break, and it takes the telephone company weeks to come and repair it. I had no Internet for a while, my apologies.

The main thing to do when traveling is going on a tour buss. You listen to the audio, it drives you around so you won't get lost, saves gas, and its not expensive. All the most important travel locations are discussed, the history is told, and you can find out where the hot spots are.

Nicole and I saw everything on the tour bus, but only visited a few places.

The District Six Museum is extremely interesting, mainly because I saw District 9, the movie. History is much more interesting to me than fiction, but both intrigue me. The most exciting part about going to the District Six Museum is the little details placed everywhere in the museum. All along the walls pieces of everyday items are plastered into the walls, there are also little stories about people who lived in District Six written on papers on the walls. Beautiful. When entering the museum, there is a large map of District Six on the floor. Photos of what circumstances the people had to live in is actually quite devastating, but also very interesting. Its like watching a documentary on the Holocaust. Best thing that happened there was that we got in for free because we got there 30 minutes before the museum closed, and I bought a book (that I still haven't read) that was written by the man that opened the museum, Ismail Noordien, or so "he said".



The Castle of Good Hope is my dream house, a bit big, but I'll adopt hundreds of children and inhabit all of it. Smiley face. Its an extraordinary building named a castle, but is in fact a fort. They have a few museums in there, the one is about Cape Town culture and features the "Kaapse Klopse", the other is preserved as the lord of the house furnished it, and the last one, my favorite, is all about military. They have loads of old naval/army uniforms, weapons, etc. After walking through one of the museums, I told a lady that works there "Its a bit big, but I'll take it". Stunned. Oh, and of my favorite spots, if you walk through the castle, there's a pond with a fountain. I want to live there. Sad face.



Table Mountain Cableway, its expensive. To me it was a waste of time and money, although the view is great, the view at God's Window was better. I'm just not a beach person. Food and drink is expensive, so stop somewhere before you go. Another crappy thing is that students only get discount on Fridays, so, I know we weren't there on a Friday. There is a memorial thing at the top which I thought was very neat. Oh, and the cable-car rotates, scary as hell.



We had lunch in some garden thing, right next to the Aquarium... There's a big, fat, very slow squirrel there. He wants food. Oh, and the post cards aren't protected or well looked after. Grin. Food was good, way too much, made me sleepy. But the garden was beautiful. And there's a monument of some important guy that I took a photo with. Wish I could remember who.



The other amazing thing, we drove around for 30 minutes trying to find these houses, and now for the love of me I can't remember what they're called, and that's perhaps why the locals gave us evil eyes.



Keep coming back, I should be uploading a lot more soon.

Oops, almost forgot:



:P