On my mark!

Well, I said last time that I was going to start going to the gym and diet and study, well, its starting tomorrow.

I'm about to go to bed, I've set my alarm, made my breakfast, and my last assignment for this semester is due in 3 days. Oops. At least I've started this time...



My dad's constant moaning and arguing isn't making it easier, its not motivating me at all.

So, to motivate me even further, I'm going to start a MS Excel spreadsheet to keep track of what I've done everyday. Statistics always motivate me.

A performance rating might just keep me setting the tone at the top.

Another thing that bugs me is my stupid geyser that keeps on breaking, and when it works I need to rush to stay at the 5 minute limit of hot water that it gives me, today was 2 minutes... Aye!

And then I did some research again, the thing is everyone is eating wrong. I wish I could always remember everything, it would make my life so much easier. The food pyramid is something that we all learn in Grade 4, yet we don't abide by it. I eat way too much meat and fats. I eat enough bread, and then lastly, I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. And then all the alcohol might also be a bad thing for my body, so after I finish detoxing, I should really stabilize my diet.



The big portions I eat, well, we all eat is also ridiculous. Your stomach is only supposed to be as big as your fist, so eating a whole plate, or two in my case is about 4-6 times the amount I should be eating. No wonder I don't fit into my clothes anymore.

Eat less. Eat healthier.



And then... Concerning the love life... There's a new guy that has a crush on me, and I think I'll go for it because, well, he's only staying in Pretoria for another month and a half, before he goes back home to Hermanus.

He sent me the cutest text. He might be worth it. He's definitely old enough... He's nine years older than I am.

Fingers crossed!

Tears from the Earth

"God has left Africa" - Bruce Willis, Tears of the Sun.



I am really passionate when it comes to politics and problems in the world. It just seems that I'm a pacifist when it comes to making changes. And then I do tend to become a bit racists when it comes to watching the news and hearing "Tshwane" instead of "Pretoria".

That being said, I received an e-mail called "The death of Johannesburg", and I wanted to cry. All the beautiful buildings that once were very classy, are all now filthy, burnt down, broken, and infested with low life, "I can't help myself" humans.

So, I have more plans in my future. I want to buy old, ran-down, broken houses and buildings, restore them to their historic glory, or make them modern.

I don't know the business of selling houses, nor have I studied architecture, but luckily you can hire people these days. So, fighting crime and making the world look better is hopefully in my destiny.

I truly think that if I can buy old houses and buildings, I can renovate them, make them safe, beautiful, and maybe, if there are 3 meter walls around a house, bring down crime.

Financing will be a problem... For now...

And then, the last thing I would really really really really like to buy is ESKOM. Researchers say that in 2012 there will be no electricity in South Africa, yet they have the resources to start building nuclear power stations. I don't know much about nuclear power stations, other than it is extremely expensive to build, and that it works on Uranium or something, which South Africa is rich in. Is it that hard to think?

Same goes for Sasol. Bio fuel has already been developed in South Africa, which is better for the environment, and your car... Although Bio fuel still has petrol in it, its a lot less. And if Sasol can pull their fingers out of their arses, maybe our country can be completely independent. It would be nice having not to import petrol from England and USA, which in effect can make us a richer country, and then maybe the government can start fixing municipal problems and build houses as promised for 16 years now.

And then when it comes to the farmers and their farms, I always get sad when I look at a satellite image of South Africa. It just seems that our Kalahari desert is eating its way into our flora populated areas. In Hermanus people have a water filter that filters salt water to drinkable water. If this can be done in a greater scale, we can fill up our dams and rivers and maybe try and get the desert a bit wetter.

Global warming is taking place, but I don't believe that the poles will completely melt and that we will all be killed in a big flood. That myth happened in the Bible already.

Maybe I should run for President one day, then I can make sure that something good happens in this country.

Carte Blanche had a story about the poisonous water in the Western Cape. People are getting sick from the water, one man even contracted a flesh eating virus and lost a leg. How is this not addressed?

The state of our hospitals are also gruesome. The municipality is pathetic. The police service is corrupt. Our education system is becoming a joke. The last thing that makes me rage is the fact that a South African citizen can't get a working holiday visa anywhere nice anymore. The USA is nice, but I think Europe and Australia might be better.

If only I could change everything for the best. Starting with nuclear power stations and bio fuel, then tackling poverty and social circumstances. If standards were set higher in this country, things might get better. For instance, if the municipality had a timed obligation to fix problems like after a pothole or broken light got reported, it has to be fixed within 24 hours, there would be a lot less problems.

If hospitals had standards for their staff members, our hospitals would look a lot better. That being said, I think all hospitals should have lower rates and they should all look the same and have high quality service. Because that's what they are, they ARE service providers.

When it comes to crime, maybe there should be a law that obligates all shops to ask for ID's for purchases. But then shops need scanners for ID's. It would be an easy way to catch wanted persons. The bad thing would be that if the power went out, controls would not be able to be maintained. So, the correct systems should be in place to do it manually, and then if a cashier authorises a transaction with a stolen credit or debit card, they should also be taken to court, just because they are aiding the criminals.

Aye!

All the outstanding work in the country... Unfortunately we can not depend on our president to see that our problems are sorted out.

Sniffles

Ha! So, after writing my previous blog, I got sick, so there's no gym for me. Which is sad, because I haven't gone in 3 weeks.

I've started on my next assignment, but I haven't started the diet thing yet. I think I need some inspiration. Who's body would I like to have? I really don't know.

That aside, I got a new nickname. Flame. It started with the Community Policing, the girl that works at Control, told me that there was a few rumours of me going around. The first one was that E60 and I had a romantic relationship and that he left me. Which is sad, because this is the same idiot who wrote on Facebook that he loved me. I laughed again.

The second rumour is that R1 and I have a flame for each other. The Control girl and I started making jokes about it, so we decided to nickname me Flame, and R1 Sparky. You need a spark to start a fire.

The funniest thing of all is now that Control girl and E60 have a thing going for 5 weeks now. She's using him, and I can't see why. He's a loser that tells lies to boast about himself. He's also one of those that is always right, and he's always better and smarter than the rest. She on the other hand, is smart, mature, independent, and extremely funny. But she doesn't want to be alone, and I can see how it works out for her.

E60 started saying "I love you" to her.

She laughed.

We're on the same page then...

So, my Sparky is leaving in 2 months, so, I'm thinking I should do the same. Just go out for the reason of not having to be lonely. He's funny and cute, I don't know him that well. But we'll see... Maybe we can give it a go.

R1, R2, Control girl, and I are going out to shoot some pool tonight. It can work.

Now, today I can go to bed at 23:00. I'll set my alarm. And then, I think I'll be well enough for yoga tomorrow morning.

I really have to get more active.

Patrolling is nice, but its not being active. We had some issues in the community the past few days. I saw a brand new BMW crashed against a tree on Friday, and we pulled over a drunk driver, and made him stay over at the control room until he was sober enough to drive. We had suspects jumping over fences on Saturday, and a burning tree to prove that there was a real flame in the neighbourhood.

Another funny joke that came out was when E60 said that everything was 10-20, instead of 10-4. Poor moron.

And Control Girl had her going away coffee and cake, and the cake was already cut. It just sounds right in afrikaans: die koek is alklaar gesny en dis 'n nat koek. The cake wasn't dry, so we had a lot of dirty jokes surrounding a poor, innocent, caramel cake.

The other jokes we had on Saturday was about a cat that kept on setting off an alarm. So, kicking and shooting the cat was a running joke that night. "Kat-skiet".

I'm still thinking about thinspiration for my diet needs. I really do need the inspiration and motivation.

Maybe I should start writing down my measurements and make myself targets. That can work...



Bridget.

I think I'll use her for now.

Getting Straight

It has come to my attention that I live the same life as a plant. Woohoo!

So, in order for me to become a human again, with activities and goals, I have decided to start my own 30-day activities plan.

In the next 7 days I want to finish my 4th assignment, which is due in 2 weeks. With that, I want to start a strict diet and exercise plan, seeing that I have 4 months worth of Herbalife products just sitting around, gathering dust, which is funny, because that's exactly what I'm doing... :P

I also have a sponsored gym membership that is going to waste if I don't use it.

My routine of going to bed at 4 am and waking up at 2 pm also needs to change.

Getting down to the point... I'm not going to improve myself by just thinking about it, so, I hereby swear to abide by my own NEW rules:

1. Wake up at 6:30.
2. Be at the gym at 08:00.
3. Use my Herbalife!
4. Write at least 3 pages for my studies each day.
5. Keep my house clean.
6. Keep my dad's house clean.
7. Go to the gym at 17:00.
8. Spend my normal hours on Facebook, just change the times.
9. Be in bed by 23:00.
10. Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
11. Drink Multi-vitamins.

I think these are rules I can live by, I just need to start, so, starting Monday, I start a new routine.

Best of luck to me!

Another reason I need to do this is to actually pass the fitness test for the SAPS. Killing to birds with one stone may seem the way to go. If all else fails, I'll just go to the army for 2 years or so, weapons training is always a plus, and after they get me fit, I might actually stand a chance of getting into the SAPS, where I want to be at least for 3 years, just to gain the necessary experience to become a Private Detective or something, but I think my heart lies with being in the police. Homicide just seems more attractive than looking at paper all day.

And then after I'm done looking after myself, and making sure I'm comfortable in my own skin, I think I'll try getting comfortable with someone else's skin. ;)

Again... High hopes, little time.

Nothing lasts

I was looking closely to my mom the other day and saw that she was developing a granny neck. Her skin is dropping below her chin, and all I could think of was "please don't die". Dying is, unfortunately, not something we can run from.

Life is extremely fragile, we see it every day. Death and dying just seem to surround our universe. That is also regarding everything, animals, plants, people, feelings, and of course brain cells.

Speaking of feelings, the new love I thought I found turned out to be a dead end.
Asshole.
I really tried to make an effort for a change, turns out I'm not really that good at romance anymore. And the fact that he actually had eyes for my other friend's crush also had a big effect on the matter.

So, I am back at staying focused on my studies, which of course got boring a long time ago. Writing down laws in my own words was not what I expected from this course. I am learning a lot, but I just think I can spend my time doing something better. The police service or army sounds like the greener pastures right now. And I think I'll look pretty sexy after I get fit and I am placed in a uniform.

Me, the fearless warrior woman. It makes me smile. I need to smile more.

The one thing that has made me laugh at myself was when I went to watch rugby, and I fell off a table. LOL! That might be it though, girls who sit on tables don't get men, as the old wives tales go...

I still do the community policing, which keeps me on my toes, and that really made me realize that policing is the profession I should go into. A Colonel asked me if I don't get scared, because I patrol alone, and honestly, it doesn't.

Fearing something, is actually wishing for it, but when you wish for something, you don't fear it.

When you get into your car and your afraid that you're going to get high-jacked, you are actually subconsciously wishing for it. Me on the other hand, I anticipate it, to me it is a given that something bad is going to happen, just because we live in such a sadistic world, and the statistics prove it. So, I kind of want something to happen, it makes life interesting, and it's always in the bad times that you see who your real friends are. That, and the fact that I love hospitals. 5 Star service, sleep as long as you want, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and tea times in bed, and then of course, people tending to your every need. The only thing I hate about hospitals are the showers, they've never seemed to please me.

But now, I'm home all the time, nothing to do except study, sleep, watch TV, and clean, because our maid quit.

I don't play Evony anymore... which I really really miss, but all my Internet friends quit, which is a shame, because we had some good times. I know... LOSER!

But they were my friends I made when I was in Idaho. They were my only friends, and I could talk to them about anything, even the infamous Mormons. But now I think back, after I've lost all communication with them, maybe I should have just pretended to be a true Mormon. If all luck struck me then, I could have gotten married in a temple, with secret rituals representing Free Mason religion rituals, and I would still have contact with my kids.

I still dream about them almost every night, and its been 5 months already. With that, I dreamt the other night that I was pregnant. I am not at all ready for children, but I can't seem to have a valuable life without them. But to have kids, I probably, by society's standards, need a husband first.

I made a deal with my one friend, that if we aren't married by 30, we'll marry each other. Just because I am not going to die alone. And I won't be able to afford a house on my own. And I am not going to live with my parents the rest of my life, given my dad probably won't make it another 20 years, he's almost 59 years old, he has high blood pressure, cholesterol, and every limb in his body needs repairing.

He just has to last long enough to walk me down the isle of a cathedral.

I decided, given that I have such a large family, we'll need a cathedral. I do not plan on having a small wedding, and also, it has to be anything but simple.

Big dreams, little time.

I'm getting old, and thinking about it, I haven't done anything significant with my life. Sure, I've worked since I was 16, travelled all across the country, been to the USA, and... That's about it... I really need to do something. I don't just want to live. I WANT TO LIVE!

I'm going to have to go try to get into the police service again. It seems that the closer I am to danger, the better I feel.

Let's go get killed!

(Just before someone reads this and thinks I'm suicidal, my shrinks say I'm not a danger to myself or society :P )

Ice Queen

Well, its getting cold, very cold. And my new handbrake keeps on promising to come keep me warm at night, but nothing yet, our relationship hasn't matured to that level yet. My hands and feet are frozen, but at least I'm happy... Kind of happy... I am glad that I'm studying, and that I finally found someone, and that our Wi-Fi works, but then again, my dad fired our maid. She was stealing our food and clothes.

I am the maid now, not that I'm complaining, I suggested it. I like cleaning, I just don't like being used or told to do something, I want to do it out of my own goodwill. My dad's laziness is whats bothering me. Do this do that, my goodness, if we could chew his food for him he'd tell us to do that. He doesn't clean after himself, or help anywhere around the house, he just orders everyone around. He hasn't done the dishes in years, never mind ironing his clothes or just taking out the trash.

Except for that, life is pretty sweet. My friends and I went to the bush veld again this weekend, was fun, except for the cold, rainy weather. And the fact that none of them know how to smoke in a car, I swear I could've committed murder, thats how mad it makes me. If you're going to smoke in a car, at least smoke out the bloody window, and don't keep your cigarette in the middle of the car, and if you exhale the smoke, don't blow it in my face, not even speaking of all the ash on my back seat. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

The boyfriend and I... Well, we like each other, but I'm not even sure if we're going out. He hasn't asked me out, or changed his Facebook status to "in a relationship" yet, but I'm hoping that this would be a long term thing. I just need a good cuddle right now, its really getting extremely cold, and I get cold easily, which makes it worse. It will also be nice to get hugs and kisses, valentine's presents, and have dates, and not having to go to parties is a big PLUS!

And the funny thing is, we've talked about sex so many times, and I really think ravaging him would satisfy my hunger for a long awaited intimacy. And then fear strikes again, 2 years ago I slept with a friend, and well, it was anything but good. Not to be too mean or superficial, he had a very small terinterin. About a minute into the game, I just rolled over and told him that I was over it. He didn't think it was funny, but I can't stand it when I can't even feel him. So, I'm hoping the new one at least has something to fuss about.

He actually seems like spouse material. He has a job, he can cook, he's interesting enough, he's mature, and he is independent. But only time will tell if he can keep up with me. I am a handful, not very high maintenance, but definitely fussy. Oh, and I'm still going to get my tattoo. Just have to save my money and track down the guy that I want to do it. It's a pretty one, and it defines who I am. I stand for justice, and that is why I am studying forensics, and will continue to study it.

Oh, I almost forgot, my friend from Germany is coming to visit me. We're going on a road trip through South Africa. I am extremely excited, she is too. It's going to be beautiful, and hopefully we have nice weather.

That's it for today.

<3

April - the month of sex, apparently...

So, Easter weekend just passed, it was the birthday of the second oldest girl I looked after in Idaho. I miss the kids, still.

Besides that, I'm going to lose two toenails, because I went on a suicide mission with friends, except, they called it fun. 11 of us went hiking at Kaapsche Hoop, which is between Baberton and Nelspruit. Apparently we walked 6 km on day 1 and 6 km on day 2, but I swear on my grandmother's grave it was almost 10 km on the second day, and it was hard! Steep uphills, slippery downhills, climbing inbetween rocks, but at least the men helped me and my fat behind.

So, with all the protein bars and energy foods, I gained almost all the weight I lost again, which is absolutely awesome! Three days later, I'm back down to 95 kg, and I'm proud of it.

The scenery was spectacular, absolutely beautiful. Nights were cold, ground was slippery because of heavy rain, but climbing to mountain tops and looking over the horizon... Priceless.



So, to get to the heading. Easter. Well, I did some research, and according to google results, Easter was a holiday for fornication, the easter bunny and the eggs all represent sex. Nothing produces as much offspring as rabbits, and the Romans used to believe that all life come from eggs, which technically, is correct.

So, still no boyfriend, so, Easter for me, was all about chocolates. I am beginning to get lonely now, and I think its time to start meeting people, but as I saw today, boys aren't interested in fat girls. A guy at the gym made an extremely disgusting face at me, thinking that I won't see him. Well, I saw, and it made me sad, I didn't show it, but that was a fleshwound.

I started IM-ing. Something I havent done on my phone in ages. Met a few interesting guys, but thats not how I want to meet my boyfriend, so this is all for fun. LOL! Like last night, I got a guy excited by typing responces with less than 3 words. Was brilliant. Guys are easy, I just need to find MY guy. Someone that can put me on my place and take control.

Oh, HAHAHAHAHA! I almost forgot... One of my friends are in love with me. He made his Facebook status something like: I am so in love with you, and you can't even see it. I'm going to lose my mind! How can I show you how I feel?

I laughed.

Not my type, and the funny thing is, I told him this weeks ago! His own stupidity. So, lets add inteligent to my list of things, and a full set of teeth, and he has to be taller than I am, and he should be able to handle his alcohol, and lastly, have a stable life.

And now, is not really the right time for me to start dating, although I really want to. I started studying, but I don't seem to be motivated enough to finish, I'm weeks behind. Am I lazy? Maybe I'm just not used to studying anymore...

Anyway, have to pull up my socks and start moving. Double speed.

Hopefully I write a bit sooner again.

Why do I need a title?

OK, so I started working at the paintball range again, and my boss told me something that really bothers me: I have ADD.

I know I'm bipolar, but I'm sure I don't have ADD nor ADHD, and the more I think about it, the more I cause inner conflict, I talk a lot, I can't focus on something too long, and I interrupt people, but that doesn't mean I have ADD, does it?

Anyway, I saw the silver lining on Saturday, a very nice fellow, but I don't think I'll see him again.

I really didn't think that I'll find an interest in guys very soon, and I have, it was only for a few hours, but I do miss the feeling of having a crush on someone or being in love.

That feeling where you hold someone and time stops. Haven't felt that in years... And maybe I do need a romantic relationship again, I need something to do, other than sleep in, play Evony, read, watch TV, and visit friends, because that's basically all I do, and its getting old, fast.

Luckily my friend's new band is having their first gig on Tuesday, so, I can get into the metal scene again, that's the one thing I missed the most in USA, was the head-banging, coming home drunk, and deaf, lower back and neck pains the next day, smudged make-up. Good times!

Unfortunately my favourite metal club shut down whilst I was overseas, I miss that place. And the worst thing was that my best friend moved 6 hours away. We used to go out all the time, and I was at his house permanently. I miss him, we had good times, and there was a constant between us, we knew each others boundaries, and rules, etc. We were good together.

Sometimes I think going to the USA was a huge mistake, I lost friendships, and I was extremely lonely and depressed over there. But I learnt, and grew a lot over there. And the children. Aye! I miss them, I still dream about them every night.

I really need kids in my life, so, I am going to start working at an after school daycare centre, for 3 hours a day, 4 days a week.

Should keep me straight.

The gym calls...

Oh, I lost 10 kg's so far, WooHoo!

A new life

It's been weeks since I did this, so, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Well, overall I'm a bit sad and bored, but as usual, I never show it. Being bipolar has its disadvantages, and me hiding, and trying to please people by making them believe everything is OK, is going to take its toll pretty soon.

So, the past few weeks, I applied to join the police, behind my dad's back, and then when I came out, I failed to mention that I already applied, and he took me to the administration offices. I just told him that they we're recruiting again. OOPS!

Anyway, secret is safe. I failed my fitness test, because America's weight is holding me back. I felt so disappointed, I can't believe how unfit I am, how I let myself go. And with that, when I was in Idaho I was bulimic, not the illness, just the action, and I went to the gym almost everyday, and I still didn't lose any weight. Doesn't make any sense. Exercising with no food in you, and then continuing purging, and no results? I don't know how the real bulimics do it...

I'm still waiting to hear from the SAPS, because someone told someone that told someone that the fitness test doesn't count. I don't believe it, but I still have high hopes. If I do, by some miracle, get in, I will be trained as a detective, not just a plain normal constable, but a detective-constable. Woohoo!

So, after my eyes opened about how unfit and fat I really got, I went to a dietitian, and I am now going to the gym 5-8 times a week, depending on how stiff I am from the previous day. I've lost 9 kg so far, now I have 20 kg to go.

Then, me and my religion have had a conflict again... Ai me!

I started reading the Bible again, because I joined a group on Facebook, and someone said that there was never a flood (Noah and the Arc). And I decided to read about it. And I discovered, to my surprise, I don't really know the Bible. I thought that there were lots of people on the arc, but no, only Noah and his family. And then the cousins married each other, etc etc. There's a word for that: INCEST!

And the incest continues, Abraham's wife, Sarah, was his half-sister??? But the thing that really caught my attention was:

Genesis 10:31 (King James Version)

31These are the sons of Shem, after their families, after their tongues, in their lands, after their nations.



Genesis 11:1 (King James Version)

1And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.


Just after they say that Shem, Ham, and Japheth's nations spoke their own language, they say that there was only one language???

So, once again, I'm distorted.

And now what now? I don't know what I believe in anymore. I want to believe in a god, and salvation, and hear the stories, but I spoke about the BoM contradicting itself, and now the Bible is doing the same.

I have so many questions, I need so many answers, but I don't know how to approach the church. I wanted to join the youth programmes in the church to witness to them about the Mormons, and tell them about all the false prophets in the world, and how they use the Bible to make it sound rational. But all they want me to do is make drinks, and wash cups for their socials.

Where in the church is God?

I told them about the Mormons, I told them I wanted to do Bible study with the youth so they can spot the false Christs, and the false prophets. I went with a sincere heart, and a strong will. All crushed by Jesus freaks.

There's a website about the contradictions:

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html

So, now, I'm reading an adventure book, at least I know its fiction...

I'm almost turning 23, and I think its getting to me. Depression hits every year before my birthday, its tragic.

Oh, and I quit my horrible job, happiness! I miss the kids though, I always do, and lately I've been dreaming of my kids back in Idaho. They gave me joy. They gave me life.

Maybe I should just find a normal job, settle down and have kids. I think sometimes, my dreams are to big for me, and its hard to live life when you can't do what you want.

But then again... What do I want?

A lot to say

So, the past few days have been interesting. For one, I play Evony, and things have been heating up there, then I've also gone onto the official Mormon website and spoken to a few missionaries, and then there was my ear infection, and last night's drama.

My ear infection is better, but I still can't hear that clearly in my right ear, at least its not as bad as my ears were in USA.

Then with the Mormons, I do tend to wander on that subject, but it amuses me. I went on pretending not to know anything about the church, and some of the missionaries get extremely rude when you quote the Bible to them. LOL! And then there is also the funny fact that you can not copy the conversations. So, they are protecting themselves. The conversation I liked the most was with Tylor. I first asked him why they don't drink or smoke, and he said that it damages our bodies, and our bodies are a temple of God, so, it damages our souls too. I completely understand and support that. I do smoke and drink, so, I know how I feel after a wild night, and when you feel like that, its hard to focus on your spiritual life.

Well, then I asked him why their church say that all other churches are an "abomination to God". He said he's never heard that and that they respect all churches. That was a lie, here is why:

My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right—and which I should join. I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight .... He again forbade me to join with any of them (Joseph Smith 2:18-20).

I asked him if he knew what that was about, and he started telling me the story of Joseph Smith. Then when it came to JS seeing God, I told him that's impossible. He asked why, and I said because we learnt in Sunday school that no one can see God. He quoted:

Exodus 33:11 (New International Version)
11 The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent.

And then I quoted:

Exodus 33:20 (New International Version)
20 But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."

He then told me that I just wanted to argue and not learn (which is true, because I know more than he does), and then left the conversation.

First off, all of the missionaries I spoke to left the conversation, they also take extremely long to talk to you, and they are rude. And that "click here to talk to someone" is just for people who do not belong to the church, I told the one missionary that I was a member (which is a half truth), and she then replied with a mission statement, and basically told me to leave.

If you tell them that you are a member and you have questions, they direct you to your Bishop or the missionaries in your area. They are not there to help.

So, my anti-Mormon list of Biblical verses grew a bit again. I intend on researching more and more, like above, they use the Bible to try and convince you of their lies, and then it gets contradicted a few verses afterwards. They always say that if someone uses the Bible to say Mormonism isn't true, that people bend the truth, but what the heck are they doing then?

Anyway, last night then. This is a story I want to remember, so, I'm writing it down now.

My parents went to the bushveld for the weekend. I came home from work, and played on the Internet, because none of my friends wanted to go out. Again. My sister then told me that she is going to Hatfield with a friend. Later, I went to sleep, I didn't fall asleep though, I was watching TV. My dad phoned at 02:39 am. He said that he received an emergency text from my sister (it's a company that sets up an emergency contact list, and when you press your emergency number, it notifies everyone on your contact list), and he asked if I knew where she was. I said yes, but I'm not exactly sure where she is, Hatfield is a big, crowded place.

Then, I notified our community security that my sister might be in danger. We have two-way radios in the house to create security for the community, people help out and report suspicious activity. I gave the car registration number, her cellphone number, service provider, and where she might be, what road she could have taken, etc etc. I don't panic in these situations, never have. So, I got into the car to drive to Hatfield, two-way radio in the one hand, cellphone in the other, changing gears, speeding, talking on both devices... I am talented!

My mom and dad were phoning me the whole time, people in the community were looking for more details and answers and trying to report to me, and then there are road signs and traffic to look out for.

I went to Hatfield and was out of the area, so, I couldn't get the reports on the two way-radio anymore, but I did manage to notify the Hatfield police that my sister might be high-jacked or robbed, and they send out a call looking for her car. On the way back, I came back within signal, and the first thing I heard that was that my sister is at home safely. One of the residents were with her, and I thanked all of them for they're quick and effective response. They replied with "this was a really good exercise, thank you for all the correspondence".

The people of the community notified three police districts, they traced her cellphone signal and followed her. When me and my parents tried phoning, her phone just went over to voicemail.

To make matters worse, my dad told me the text could been an hour late because they were in a bad reception area, and then I realised, an hour before they called, some idiot almost drove into our gate and went speeding away, I heard it and saw the lights, but I didn't see the car.

My sister could have been raped, murdered, killed, high-jacked, robbed, etc etc.

What happened? Her drunk friend tried to phone her parents and pressed the emergency button on her phone. Needless to say, my dad is livid.

That's all for now, I'm going to go get dressed and then go out with friends.