OK, so I started working at the paintball range again, and my boss told me something that really bothers me: I have ADD.
I know I'm bipolar, but I'm sure I don't have ADD nor ADHD, and the more I think about it, the more I cause inner conflict, I talk a lot, I can't focus on something too long, and I interrupt people, but that doesn't mean I have ADD, does it?
Anyway, I saw the silver lining on Saturday, a very nice fellow, but I don't think I'll see him again.
I really didn't think that I'll find an interest in guys very soon, and I have, it was only for a few hours, but I do miss the feeling of having a crush on someone or being in love.
That feeling where you hold someone and time stops. Haven't felt that in years... And maybe I do need a romantic relationship again, I need something to do, other than sleep in, play Evony, read, watch TV, and visit friends, because that's basically all I do, and its getting old, fast.
Luckily my friend's new band is having their first gig on Tuesday, so, I can get into the metal scene again, that's the one thing I missed the most in USA, was the head-banging, coming home drunk, and deaf, lower back and neck pains the next day, smudged make-up. Good times!
Unfortunately my favourite metal club shut down whilst I was overseas, I miss that place. And the worst thing was that my best friend moved 6 hours away. We used to go out all the time, and I was at his house permanently. I miss him, we had good times, and there was a constant between us, we knew each others boundaries, and rules, etc. We were good together.
Sometimes I think going to the USA was a huge mistake, I lost friendships, and I was extremely lonely and depressed over there. But I learnt, and grew a lot over there. And the children. Aye! I miss them, I still dream about them every night.
I really need kids in my life, so, I am going to start working at an after school daycare centre, for 3 hours a day, 4 days a week.
Should keep me straight.
The gym calls...
Oh, I lost 10 kg's so far, WooHoo!
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