I was at a fundraiser for barefoot skiers, a ladies night, it started off with cocktails and survival kits for women. Included in a survival pack is:
1 x G-string
2 x Condoms
1 x Headache powder
1 x Chocolate
After all of the girls, and boys, got a bit tipsy, it was time for sex toys demonstrations and a quiz. After the quiz... Body shots and lap dances. Very, very sexy! Naming a few questions in the quiz:
Q: Why were vibrators invented?
A: To cure hysteria in women.
Q: What sex toy was made famous in Sex and the City?
A: Roger Rabbit.
Q: What was the first dildo made out of?
A: Wood.
Q: Do most women get sexually satisfied from only penetration?
A: No.
Q: What is the difference between a dildo and a vibrator?
A: A dildo doesn't vibrate.
With the answers to the questions, there were demonstrations of all the sex toys. It was hilarious, but very intriguing. There were dildos in all colours and sizes, vibrators in all shapes and disguises, lubricant, and then my favourite: the tongue. The tongue is a rubber tongue that is about the size of the average woman's hand, and what does it do? Oral sex! LOL! Its like a little mechanism that moves around inside the rubber, and it feels like a tongue. Amazing what technology is used for these days.
Then, to get to the random stranger sex... Aye! Well, after I got home, extremely drunk from the girls night, I went over to the neighbours house. Two guys kinda invited themselves, but then again, that's what we South Africans do best. We sat in the kitchen drinking, the one guy went to bed, in our spare bedroom, and that left me with the other guy. I eventually told him that I was tired, and the other spare bed is in my room. Mistake. We then sat and talked, and when it was time for lights out, he got into my bed?!?! Anyway, I couldn't sleep, and as random as I am, asked him if he wanted to have sex. LOL, it wouldn't have been that awkward if it wasn't him. He is a strange creature. Anyway, it wasn't horrible, but it was quick, he and his friend had to leave early to drive somewhere.
The bad thing is, I only realized the next night that his friend puked all over my sister's toilet, my sister texted me saying its my responsibility. Its done. After looking after kids for so long, I don't get grossed out anymore.
The only good thing that happened was that I got a G-spot orgasm, which wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be. I've had one before, but I was 16. That's why size matters.
Anyway, just another reason to stay single now. I don't want to go through getting to know someone and hope and pray that they like me, etc. The last fling I had got a new girlfriend 4 days after we saw each other, the previous one did the same... I feel like I have bad luck at the moment.
Another surprise in my life is that I can actually drink tequila again. It takes a cigarette and a cider to keep it down, but at least it stays down. I found this out when I went out one night this past week, and a guy bought me tequila. I dropped him off at home that night, he lost his friends. He's old, from Namibia, but he's a nice guy.I saw him again at a Christmas in July party, where I had tequila again. Ha! I never learn...
Last thing that happened to me was today. My geyser broke. My whole flat was under steaming water. Luckily we have a wet and dry vacuum cleaner. It works like a miracle. And now that that's happened, I have my place like I like it, all the stuff I don't need came out today, now I can rearrange my house like I want it, and maybe decorate a bit more.
Start your engines! Its going to be a bumpy ride...
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