Funny Moments in Life

We all have those awkward moments in life, and when you think back about it, its hysterical. You start laughing randomly, and you can't help it.

The oldest funny moment I have was when I was about seven or eight. All girls do it, and I'll do it over and over in life. I slept over at my German friend's house, and we talked about what we thought life was like. Her mom and dad kept taking turns to tells us to go to bed. We talked until we passed out from exhaustion. That was long ago, but we said we'll be friends forever, and now she lives in Germany, I haven't seen her in 15 years, but we were the best of friends. We played Barbie together, we swam, we sung, we played on the jungle gym, and we were always naughty. Once we climbed into the neighbour's house, through the top bedroom window, because we believed she was kidnapping animals, if my memory serves me correctly. We were so scared, and the next moment she came upstairs. We hid under the bed, and while she went to the bathroom, we snuck out back through the window.

When we went swimming, adult supervision was obligated. If I think back now, my dad had better things to do than watch us, but he usually made it fun. We had a kiddo pool section that was knee deep shallow, it was our safe house. While my dad was swimming around, we would loudly sneak up on him, giggling and talking, splashing aloud, because our swimming abilities were limited. My dad would then turn around and shout "here comes the crocodile!", and we'd have to race to get to the safe house before he tickled the pee out of us.

She taught me how to speak English. I missed her when she left for Germany.

Another funny thought was in grade 1 when a boy in my class was caught urinating in the garden. I felt sorry for him one day, and gave him a doughnut, that doughnut actually belonged to my sister. Oops.

Then, when I was ten, we played touchers, and I ran away from a boy, Casper, and jumped over a girl, Janneke, and when Casper tried to jump over Janneke, she bobbed her head. Casper broke Janneke's nose, and it was my fault?!?! That same year, I got 100% for science, a friend of mine cried about it, because she got pressured by her mom, she only got 95%?!?! Also, in that same year, we had an over-aggressive boy who got mad at the teacher for some dumb reason, and he threw his chair. Another boy had to get stitches.

In primary school my sister and I had to take our bicycles everywhere, even to buy milk. Our household went through 10 litres of milk every four days. Incredible! So, because my dad bought our bicycles, it was the ugliest bicycles within a 500 kilometer radius. Pink, old fashioned bicycles with white baskets at the front. The paint was peeling off and it made squeaky noises when we rode it, and my bicycle's handles weren't aligned, meaning, I had to pretend I'm turning to go straight. To top it all off, neither I nor my sister were very popular in school. Use your imagination for a second. Two girls riding ugly pink bicycles, each with a five litre bottle of milk in their basket, complaining the whole time, and losing their balance because the bottles kept shifting sides, and every now and then, fall down and hope the milk survived the fall. That's why I hate bicycles.

When my sister and I decided to spare ourselves the embarrassment of the bicycles, we walked to school, and as it is here in summer, it would be bright and shiny in the mornings, and then pouring cats and dogs in the afternoons. We had to walk in the rain, and for that, my dad equipped us with even uglier rain suites. We never took them to school. So, we would come home, looking like we went for a swim, and ring the doorbell for my grandmother to open the door. She always wore wool gloves. Always. The consequence of wearing gloves were that it took her twenty minutes to press the garage remote for us to be able to get into the house. The effect is that I don't like my grandmother that much either.

Just to make it clear, I was in four primary schools. In my last one, I was tortured. The third school was too small to have clicks, but the fourth one... OMG! I was teased because my hair was too short, my dress was too long, and my sticker collection sucked. That was until my mom bought me Spice Girls stickers, and later, Titanic stickers. I didn't swop my Spice Girls or Titanic stickers, and then... My "best friend" stole them. I stole it back. She initially said she didn't know where my stickers went, and when I stole it back, I told her it just fell out and I found it at home. That same friend stole my underwear and some shirts. I evetually bad-mouthed her and she couldn't find friends anymore. Payback... Her last friend left her when she said her hair looked like a christmas tree. I told her. It was the time when those little butterfly clips were in fashion. And the huge Spice Girls shoes. I am extremely grateful that those shoes, and jelly baby shoes, are out of fashion.

Well, going to high school... I met my first love there, but I don't want to write about him. I want to write about his sister. Well, when the love and I was at their house, we made a habbit of tickeling the little sister, untill she wet herself. She hated us for it, but who can resist? There were stains all over the rug, and it was our evil doings. The other physical problem she had was that her feet smelt like blue cheese. We could smell her take her shoes of in the living room from the furthest bedroom in the house. Then, one weekend, me, my sister, the love, and his little sister went to the bush. The first day she took her shoes off, we tied her shoe laces together and hung her shoes in a tree, which just happened to be conveniently out of reach for her. Two days later, the smell was gone. Its amazing what a little fresh air can do...


XOXOXO