Then it came to love. Apparently I'm in love with two guys, one who is a risk taker, the other a very stable person. She said the risk taker isn't a good choice, he would end up not going to work and therefore my money issues would become a huge issue, but the risk taker makes me happy. The more mature guy is the better choice, because he would be a long term investment, money wise...That's not true... I'm not really interested in anyone at the moment. The guy that texted me, who I gave my number to, well... I'll see how that goes. Next week we have a date. Movie and then his house. Mmmmmm, hope it works out.
Then she said something that hit me right between the eyes. I have a negative aura. I believe that one. Although I'm very outgoing and I can't do anything without a smile upon my face, I am a pretty negative person. When it comes to love, money, family, and business... Yes, I am negative.
I can't see how many relationships work, because none of mine work out. Money isn't happiness, so I don't like it much, but it's something we can't live without. Family is all drama drama. Business and career, well, I've tried that, and I don't like it.
The Gypsy woman also said that my negative aura is controlling everything, and it can be seen in my money and relationships. My social life is declining. She wanted to sell me a lucky charm for R500, but I didn't have the money, nor did I want to spend that much money on a lucky charm.
It just made me wonder how palm reading works...
I paid R200 for a palm reading, and I actually wanted to spend another R400 on a Tarot card reading, but again, I only had R200 on me.
But Yay me! I'm going on a first date!
Long time... Long time...
Fingers crossed, no lucky charms, make-up, hair, and I need to shave and do my nails before then...
Hopefully Cupid does something for me again, its been a while, and I truly think I need someone.
Oh, and I got a new phone, Samsung B3310 NOX, and I love it. Makes me feel connected again...
Now I just need to connect...
As for my studies, I got all my results: 80%, 85%, 54%, 77%.
I am extremely upset about the 54%, but now I know where my weakness lies... And the fact that me and Daddy kind of had a fight about it just makes matters worse... My next assignments are due in a month, and I started working on it, but I'm not in the mood. I wish it would just all go away.
It reminds me of a long time ago... When I was in high school, I used to wake up at 4 am to start studying for my tests. I never did bad, I wasn't top of the class, but I always knew I could do better, and then two days ago I found a poster I had back then that says:
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who does it. Autograph your work with excellence.
Maybe I should just pull up my socks and do a bloody good job, but then again, its just going to get slaughtered by my dad, so, my work will always be questionable.
Soon, I'm going to start writing down all my memories before I forget those too... But there's one thing I heard in a song a long time ago, and it stuck to me:
You won't remember half the life you lived.
I plan to cherish those memories in my blog, and I need to find my late grandmother's poems and write them down too. Her poems were mostly about religion, and I think I want to give the church another chance.
There has to be a god. He has to have rules. And he most definitely has to care. But I don't think that any book ever written can capture him. I truly don't think that anyone knows him, and I most certainly don't think that he started any religions. Religion is about man and self improvement, and churches only make it seem like praise and worship.
As for Zeitgeist, it was a good movie, but its a load of hooha. I did research on the things they said about Christianity, and its a load of bull. None of the other "gods" lived the same life as Jesus, but that still doesn't mean that he existed. And the Bible is too faulty to believe it.
Where do I go from here?
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