Time is up!

OK, so the sad story is that I have a BMI of 33.5. Normal weight = 18.5–24.9. So, I need to lose 30% of my body weight to be normal. Very bad news, so, I made a plan. From what I've read, its a good one. 7 day fasting.

From this day, I will say how I feel, and what I weigh. Just for shitzingiggles.

I have to commit to something, I'll start with this, see how it goes, and then do it every month or every other month, depending on what is good.



I will have vitamins with me at all times, and tea.

Its not anorexia, its fasting.

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by an obsessive fear of gaining weight. The terms anorexia nervosa and anorexia are often used interchangeably, however anorexia is simply a medical term for lack of appetite. Anorexia nervosa has many complicated implications and may be thought of as a lifelong illness that may never be truly cured, but only managed over time.

I don't want to look like sceletor, I just want a healthy BMI, and fit into normal clothes.

The only thing is, I'm still going to drink whatever I want, except alcohol. I work in an environment that only has sodas, so, soda, water, tea, and coffee it is, although I think for the heck of it, I should actually cut out milk, as we only buy full cream, and soda, because I don't need all that sugar.

It is mainly for health reasons. It may be drastic, but my cholesterol is high, and if I keep up like this, I'll be one of those women that the fire department has to break down the wall to get me out of my room. I don't want that.

Right, I don't pray, and this is not for religious reasons, but I need a good luck charm and a whip to accomplish this.

If I don't succeed, I will delete this post, so, if you're reading this, and its past March.... I DID IT!

My Funny Adventures

So, I went to our holiday home in the bush this weekend. Drove Friday, came back Sunday. Going there is extremely refreshing. The quiet yet busy life of the bush is all one needs when you need to clear your mind, although, clearing my mind was not what was needed this weekend, just getting out of this messy place is what I needed.


It started off with driving, of course. And there are quite a few irritations on the road.

1. If you drive in the fast lane, drive fast. If you are old, you should know this, you were there when they built the roads.
2. If you get out of my way and go into the slow lane, don't speed up, I'm trying to pass you while driving the same speed. I don't care much for your ego, nor do I think you are a special person.
3. When getting onto the highway, the speed limit is 120 km/h. You need to try to reach that speed and not stay on 60 km/h as that may cause an accident.
4. If you can not drive while talking on your cell phone (although it is also illegal), then don't. If you are in fact trying to kill yourself, there are other ways.
5. Please keep a constant speed, I don't want to drive between 80 km/h and 130 km/h the whole time. I'm either going to crash into you, or I am going to crash into you. There is no avoiding that. But I slowed down, just for you.
6. If you seem to be driving faster than me, I will let you pass, but please don't slow down for no apparent reason.
7. You decided to have children, and there is a law for this, BUCKLE THEM UP!
8. The lines in the road show you where to drive, and actually you need to drive in between those lines, not on them. And NO, I didn't try to drive into you, I just helped you back to where you're supposed to be.
9. A game drive is not done at 60 km/h, except if your trying to see blurry trees. I do not care much for the dust that fumigates my car, its hard work cleaning all the inches in my interior.
10. Last but not least. Keep a plastic bag in your car for all your unwanted items. The world is not a trash can.

So, I stopped in Warmbaths, not Bela-Bela, but indeed Warmbaths, and bought lunch and dinner, and then treated myself to a nice refreshing ice-cream that came out of a machine and it tasted like cold sand with sugar on it. I needed something cool, because when I climbed out of the car it felt like hell burst open in my face. The rest of the drive went fast, I will not say how fast for legal reasons. I just wanted to be on holiday.


The drive was beautiful, and the holiday resort even more, probably because of sentimental value. The swimming pool was clear blue, the sky was even more so, and the heat was exhausting. I had to swim with all my clothes on, because I had a little melted ice-cream situation in the car, and napkins just out of reach on the backseat. I went for a game drive, and OH! the beauty... Because it is that time of the year, all the animals had youngsters. The list started on Friday and ended on Sunday with seeing zebras, then blue wildebeest, impala, warthogs, I got lucky and saw a single waterbuck, some nyala, kudu, a baby squirrel, a small chameleon, eland, baboons, ducks and geese, meerkats, and unfortunately I didn't see any giraffes or jackals.


I wasn't alone on this trip, my parents, and my cousin, his wife and two daughters joined us. I know not everyone will oppose this as I do, but it saddens me to see a 5-year-old know Bible stories better than I even had, and an almost 2-year-old pray for a "good job" and applause. As I am against the indoctrination of any human, I wish they had a choice in this matter. If I could have chosen not to grow up in a religious and racist household, I would have. Or if I could have grown up in a country where crime basically doesn't exist, I would have chosen that as well, but that is not the way the world works. Just my two cents.


I was sitting at the bar on Friday afternoon, reading a thank you note on the fridge that said: "If life seems to be under control, your not going fast enough". I like this also. I haven't done much in ages, and I think I need a project or two. I have started my USA scrapbook, but sadly, I ran out of glue and still need to have photos printed before I can continue. I can't donate blood, I got my tattoo a month ago. I can probably keep quiet about that, the people I went to are very professional and clean. I want kids, I want a career, and I want a few houses, a decent car, and maybe a husband, if he's good enough to me, not for me, just love and respect.


I saw that in my cousin and his wife. They truly belong together, and they are raising their children extremely good, I just have a problem with their manners. A simple "please" and "thank you" is not really a part of their vocabulary, so, prompting for it was a bit exhausting. I remember how long it took for my kids, as an Au Pair, to teach them manners. Not long. Give me a week with any given child, and they will have the best manners and very practical and needed communication skills. Even autistic children. Its been done before.


The kids were a blast! I miss looking after little ones. We went swimming, played, colored, went to the duck pond, fed the geese and ducks and those humongous catfish (that almost ate the youngest one), and we simply enjoyed the weekend.

The best thing I did for myself this weekend was to watch "The Gods must be Crazy" and "The Gods must be Crazy 2". Its some of the best films ever made. I remember watching them as a child, but like in any other movie I watched when I was younger, I don't really remember anything. It was brilliant. Refreshing. Something that didn't have sex in it, although there are quite a few scenes in undergarments, very honest films that portray our environment to the absolute most perfect way possible.


Then, on a random note. As randomly as I found it. There was a specific tree that caught my attention this weekend. I drove past it. Stopped. Thought to myself "WTF?" and reversed. I burst out with laughter, and took photos. Obviously these will not be on my Facebook page.

Is Satan really such a bad guy?

According to Christianity, Satan is the epitome and embodiment of all evil things, described as "the father of all lies" in the Catholic Church's Catechism (paragraph 391). It is his works that tempt humans into doing bad deeds. If something evil occurs, we can be assured that Satan had something to do with it.

The History of Satan

According to Catholicism, Satan only exists because God allows him to (The Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 395). This raises some serious issues about how righteous God can be if he allows evil to exist, but I digress. Satan, as the story goes, began as the angel Lucifer, who outrightly rejected God and rebelled against him. God cast Lucifer and those who followed him into Hell, a place of eternal torture and despair, where God was not present.

Like any good propoganda machine, Christian authorities have made sure to limit the disenimation of information on the enemy (Satan) to what they want the public to know. For example, we are never told why Satan rebelled against God. We're never given his side of the story. Were Satan's reasons for rejecting God and attempting to overthrow him legitimate? From where I'm standing, they could certainly be considered valid if the authorities see fit to hide them from the general public.

For example, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the book that outlines Catholic beliefs in detail, has barely half a column in its index devoted to Satan and information on him, where as Jesus Christ has a full 6 pages! Sound like a propoganda machine to you, yet?

Christian authorities have made some big mistakes with their anti-Satan propoganda machine, however. Since there is so little information available about Satan, there is no record of anything he's done or any way to connect events to him. Christians simply and lazily accredit evil occurences to Satan. A good example are the events of September 11. Within weeks, a doctored picture was floating around the internet showing Satan's face in the clouds of smoke and debris eminating from the two towers, thus unfairly making Satan out to be responsible for these tragedies.



Satan vs. God

The only evidence we have to conclude Satan's utter evil is God's word, and frankly, God's word isn't worth too much. He's shown a remarkable inconsistency in his actions and words, and he's hardly above lying or dishonest conduct. Straight after giving Moses the first set of Ten Commandments (which included "Thou shalt not kill"), he let Moses go ahead and order the Levites to go on a mass-murdering rampages, which they did, but only after he talked God out of killing all the people! According to 2 Thessolonians 2:11-12, God will send a strong illusion to people so that they will believe lies, so he can condemn everyone to Hell. After giving Moses the Ten Commandments, God orchestrated a litany of atrocities through isoltated commandments that are simply too great in number to list here. I suggest checking out the The Skeptic's Annotated Bible to see for yourself, specifically this section. These events are detailed in Exodus 32. In 2 Chronicles 18:22, God lies to prophets. Why should anyone take his word at face value if he has no problem with lying to us for no reason other than to have an excuse to condemn us to Hell?

Who's more evil? God or Satan? How can we determine this? Well, it's a simple matter of looking at the actions of both God and Satan. Who's commited more evil acts? Who's done more harm to humanity? Who's been the most oppressive? Is Satan really as bad as the Christian Smear Campaign makes him out to be? Let's find out...

God

•God takes away Adam and Eve's eternal life, thus commiting the first murder, and holds their descendants responsible and visiting Adam and Eve's punishment down on their children. In today's moral standards, the sins of the father die with the father.
•God destroys all life on Earth in a great flood, except for a drunk (Noah) and his family, for failing to worship him.
•God's tenth plague upon the Israelites was the unjustified murder of all firstborn sons in Egypt, which undoubtedly included little children.
•Before sending the plagues to Egypt, God "hardened Pharaoh's heart" so that he wouldn't let the Israelites go, so he could have an excuse to visit horrible plagues upon them, like boils, killing cattle and murdering all firstborn sons. (Exodus 4:21)
•God orders the Levites to kill their "every man and his neighnor" for worshipping another god. This cost 3000 lives. (Exodus 32:27)
•God sends a plague to the Israelites, apparently feeling that mass-butchery wasn't enough of a punishment. (Exodus 32:35)
•God kills Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brother's (whom God also slew) wife and instead "spilling his seed on the ground." (Genesis 38:8-10)
•God kills the entire populations of Soddom and Gammorah (again, including women, children and infants) for practicing certain sexual techniques.
•God gives all Philistines hemorrhoids in their pubic areas. (1 Samuel 5:9)
•God kills over 50,000 people for looking at an ark. (1 Samuel 6:19)
•God kills 70,000 people because King David decided to have a census. (1 Chronicles 21:7-14)
•God approves of slavery, and instructs owners to beat their slaves. (Proverbs 29:19)
•And, finally, God makes sure that if you are guilty of even the smallest transgression, you shall suffer endlessly for all eternity, following a dramatic homecoming for Jesus, who will be extremely pissed off at everyone for putting him to death, even though it was just the Romans and even though he knew what was going to happen beforehand, and he could have easily avoided it by using his power as God to perform a miracle and prove who he was. (See the entire book of Revelation)


Satan

•Satan, like Prometheus, gave knowledge to humanity by giving Eve the fruit from the forbidden tree. Because of Satan, humanity gained knowledge of good and evil, according to Genesis. Since we couldn't have possessed knowledge of good and evil before eating the fruit, Adam and Eve couldn't have known that eating the fruit was evil, so it seems a little harsh to punish them as severely as God did. Satan gave humans true capacity for moral judgment, unlike God, who simply expected everyone to mindlessly obey his orders.
•There is no biblical record of Satan engaging in the murder of torture of any human being, unlike God, who is guilty (and proudly guilty) of commiting genocide.
•There is no biblical record of Satan ever ordering someone to kill someone else, unlike God, who has repeatedly demanded the deaths of those who commit even the smallest of offenses.
•Satan will not be holding a massively dramatic ceremony full of blood and death for the return of his son to Earth. God apparently will.

It doesn't take a mathematician to add up and compare God and Satan's respective body counts. God has, after all, killed billions of people in a great flood. Satan never did anything like that. What was the only thing Satan did "wrong"? He rebelled against God, but wouldn't you? Look at what kind of a God he is! He needlessly murders people in nearly every book and passage of the Old Testament! He created an entire race of people for the sole purpose of catoring to his own ego, and then gets mad when we don't live up to our appointed role in life or question one of his decisions! He is a ruthless, dictatorial, narcissistic, sociopathic mass murderer. If I go to Hell for not worshipping him, so much the better. I'd rather spend eternity with Satan, someone who hasn't treated the human race like disposable garbage, someone who has given knowledge to humanity rather than trying to suppress it.

It's time to stop this needless slandering of Satan's name. Satan has done nothing to deserve it. He hasn't killed anyone, publicly exonerated slavery, demanded our worship or threatened us with eternal damnation for not doing his bidding. It is God who is guilty of all these crimes. Satan's done nothing but rebel against a repugnantly unjust authority figure, and he gets eternal damnation and association and blame for all evil on Earth! Meanwhile, Martin Luther King, Jr. gets a holiday named after him, and Satan was far more courageous that King was. After all, Satan stood up to an all powerful narcissist who made it clear that he never would change his mind on any issue. King at least had a democracy to work with. The Christian Smear Campaign toward Satan is completely unwarranted. Maybe, before criticizing Satan, they should look at the God they worship. Is Satan really a bad guy? Certainly not in comparison to God. In fact, I'd much rather have Satan running things. He just can't be worse than God.

Cheers to the freakin weekend!

For once I went out with a friend. It was planned and organized, and not just "OK-lets-go!" for once... It was fun. We stayed out until 7:00 from 19:00 the previous night. Had shots. Got free stuff. Woohoo!

Road to reality... Not going there yet!

I just watched a movie, Happy-Go-Lucky, and the title interested me because I have been called a happy-go-lucky person a few times in my life. Except for the fact that I'm not that obnoxious anymore, the character "Poppy" is me. The movie is absolutely pointless, has no significant value like other movies such as Sweet November or even The Bucket List, but I found myself staring into a reality.

Poppy is a people-pleaser, as am I, and she tries to solve everyone's problems, and by solving problems she places herself in some difficult situations.

I do that too, and I'm glad I saw the movie, because it made me think...



I listened to the radio last night driving home from work, and the girl talking was going on about how she won't be a good Samaritan anymore. She gave money to a homeless woman and got a snotty "oh, thanks". And then, a few hours later my friend phoned me, his car got towed, I drove in to him in the early morning hours to pay the fine and get his car from the impound lot.

I am a people-pleaser, not that much a good Samaritan. I don't help the homeless, I don't give money to beggars, in fact I despise beggars, and I don't give money to the church, I think its a waste anyway. I do donate money to Helping Hands every month though, a debit order goes off my bank account. (http://www.helpendehand.co.za/)

And I like the way I am, and just as in the movie with Poppy, it frustrates me when you're trying to make someone smile, or just be a bit cheerful and get out of the "dark side", and they ignore you or keep on being negative. The people where I work is the exact example, and you know what, I am extremely grateful that I'm not that negative all the time. I know some of my blog contradict that statement, but really, overall I am happy.

I'm so glad, and grateful, that I have an interview this week. I can not wait, and yet, I just bit off all my fingernails. Bitter sweet.

And then, just now, I found something interesting:

People Pleasing and Love Addiction

by George Hartwell M.Sc. of www.HealMyLife.com

People Pleasing is a powerful web of childhood experiences, beliefs, and painful feelings that result in this meta-strategy to gain love, secure belonging, a safe home base. With such a firm foundation in the experiences of childhood this choice, this compulsion, this mind-set of earning love becomes solid as rock and impossible to stop.

Based on this decision, belief, experience and perception of life that one's caretakers are not going to provide unconditional love, a child devises people pleasing strategies to earn love. These earning love strategies might include: perfectionism, doing what is right, always being good, never giving offense, not expressing anger, working hard, and seeking measurable achievement including Type A behaviour pattern associated with heart attack.

Taken to extremes the child, and later the adult, becomes competative for love and begins to put down rivals for love which can solidify into the ugly habit of religious or non-religious self-righteousness. Do you know anyone who counters any good report about yourself or you children with an example from his or her life or family? Annoying, isn't it? That is competative People Pleasing.

Love Addiction and People Pleasing

Addictions and addictive behaviours are maintained, sustained and rewarded by escape from pain. The pain in People Pleasing is the sinking feelings that I did something wrong and will not be loved as a result. In fact there is a whole set of beliefs and associtated negative feelings called "The Pit" (my term) that anyone would want to escape.

Are you a People Pleaser? Do you find that when you experience criticism, failure, or confrontation you over-react. All of a sudden you are angry or depressed. Your response seems way out proportion to the event.

Here is what has happened. Your worse fears and most painful negative beliefs have just been triggered. You just dropped into "The Pit."

Down in the pits, you experience extremely negative beliefs and very painful feelings. (These feelings are stored in the memory bank of the Limbic System or Emotional Brain.)

The Pit is a painful, adverse, frightening, depressing experience that anyone would want to escape. Your dysfunctional way to escape (to assure safety, security and love) is people pleasing. This program is by now second nature. You used it in childhood to gain mother or father's approval and, by now, it is a longstanding way of life - a personality pattern. But now it fuels love addiction.

Gaining the prize - avoiding the pit and feeling in control by following the program - is enough to reward love addiction. The Pit is a painful; the people pleasing program provides relief. Following the program is rewarded by avoiding rejection and gaining praise and affection. This creates the Love Addiction cycle.

So, apparently I have another mental illness. I don't think its a bad thing to want to make people around you happy as long as you stay with my rule "cut your losses". I have given up on my dad because there is just no pleasing him. I love pleasing my mom. My sister, see dad.

I make people happy that make me happy.

Some random thing I saw on Comedy Central

Bo Burnham is probably one of the funniest guys I've ever seen on TV. Not Jeff Dunham funny, like David Sedaris funny.

He has a rap song. Rant. Here are the lyrics:

All the seats at the sunday masses,
Filled with the mass's massive asses,
Classes pass as fast as molasses.
Ceremonial reading glasses.
Read a little bit of leviticus.
All the kids are a little too little for this.
All the parents nod in agreement -
"I think I can vaguely see what he meant."
It's too early in the morning glory
To read another allegory story,
The father, reads a little bit farther,
Assuring the assured that they need not bother
"when god, in verse 45, said the slaves are okay to buy,
He meant that people, all from the start
Each have slaves within their hearts.
Things, that we have sold or boughten, that are forced to pick our moral cotton
God calls us to set these free, free our hearts from slavery...
And then as god goes on to explain the logistics of buying and selling slaves..."

In the back, I sit and I nod to the beats that are bumpin from my ipod
My god, they're starting to pray
And over the music I can hear them say
"dear god, dear lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword.
Dear good all-seeing being, my way or the highway yahweh.
The blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater,
I'd like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white
And though this is your day of rest, I come to you with one request
There's so much pain beyond this steeple,
Wars and drugs and homeless people.
Sadness, where there should be joy, hate and rape and soulja boy.
A world in darkness needs your light, so I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
But my dog just had leg surgery if you could fix that first...

Debra messing's fingers in a holy place, "hail mary full of grace."


Obama, could you pass some hope to the pope
I know a couple dude's who wanna elope
See the church said, "nope" so the bros can't cope.
(The bros can grope but the bros can't cope)
They've been in love, they've been addicted
Who said they shouldn't? benedict did.
Cause in the holy land of the lord he's the holy landlord and dicks are evicted.
Cause you can be a benedict if you've been a dick under benedict but
You can't have benedicts because there's only one pope and only one dick
What? a dick on a pope is
Just like a soap on a rope cause it's
Pointless, unless in prison, throw up your bibles, christ has risen.
Hallelujah, now it's raining men,
Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10.
Winos at the eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
Jesus wasn't the messiah, get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
It was oedipus, and those holy nights
The holy motherfucking christ.
I'm a blasphemah post-katrina cruising the marina. on a crusade to cruise aids
And blast FEMA
You're too late, we're fucked we don't need ya.

In the name of the father, son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Turn up your nose, strike that pose.
HEY MACARENA!

Brilliant.

Daddy is going to kill me!

OK, I've done a few things this past month that have been testing in many ways, physically, mentally, and some situations just WTF?!?!?!

I have to start at Christmas eve, my sister and I went drinking, I met a guy, we went to his friend's house with another friend. WE DROVE TO KENYA, OR EGYPT, it was bloody far! Not really, but if there was a turn, we took all of them. Anyway, had loads of laughs, was very drunk, and the guy actually has personality.

I think I'm past the "I like the guy" phase, I won't ever let myself get lost again. What do I mean? I mean, I am not in control when I feel feelings.

Cold-hearted-B!%$#

OK, then... Went home with him, and then went home, and I did not have my house keys, I wrote this in the previous blog, by the way... I climbed onto our fence, after realizing that the bell doesn't work, the electric fencing's alarm doesn't want to ALARM!!! and I don't have enough money on my phone to phone a friend. I climbed onto our wall, still being drunk as a skunk, and then it hit me. And it hit me again, so, I moved, and the bugger hit me again. Apparently our front fence's wires are disconnected, the ones on the side work perfectly. I, disappointingly, ran out of courage, due to the fact that I hadn't eaten in 12 hours, I was drunk, and at mid day the sun is quite bright, to jump into our yard. No, I stood there, actually, jived, as the clicking sounds of electricity kicked me back into reality, and I realized I could die if I jump. So I got back down, and texted my daddy.

My sister looked worse than I did.

I still have bruises.

Right, my next adventure started of on New Years eve. I paid for one drink, I had about 30 in total. Went back to my Christmas Eve one-night-stand, I was to drunk to talk, and he can't even remember New Years eve, but nothing happened. I ended up kissing the owner of a well-known club in Pretoria, sadly there were witnesses, and later that night I witnessed a "crime" (seriously, it was a guy that fell onto a paved road, because some troglodyte smacked him into it) and then the police harassed the victim. I wrestled the cop, his partner wrestled me, and my friends got the partner off of me. I had a big thumb print on my arm... Its gone now...

I don't know how my legs are still bruised?

So, I made friends with the cops.



And what you see happened on 17 January, Charlie from Keep it Real did it. I love it! Love it! Looooooooooooooooooove it!

Only some of my friends and my sister know. Parents no-no. My dad and I have a few problems, we always will, but I don't want this to be an issue, but I want the tattoo. Did it hurt? Only the top two lines, it actually tickled, it was right on my tickle spot. There are two funny lines I will remember from Charlie.

1. "Why can't I have nice things?"
2. "I'm glad to see you're human."

I might go to hell though. I am beginning to become trouble, or I'm just rebelling a bit late. But I make life easier for myself!

Oh, and my mom told me something that I've wanted to say to her for years now!!!! "You should hear the way he talks to me, I'd rather be at work". I know how he talks to her, and I brain slap him every time. Sometimes I even have a knife or a gun, just as a threat, not going in for the kill.

I wish I had a camera crew follow me around like a reality TV series. The stuff I get into these days.

Every time I want to drink now, I just think of one night. A friend came home with me, I couldn't get rid of him, and he tried to get kinky. I have the perfect advice out of experience. Pretend to throw up. Stand in the bathroom, close the door, and ROAR! Works like a charm.

I do not want to end up in that situation again.

NEVER.

I need to write more often. Hope whoever read this enjoyed it.

Another Short One

Slept all day.

Went to bed at 06:00.

Watched a lot of movies.

Ate.

Watched TV.

Ate.

Got bored.

Started scrap booking.

American memories.

Did six pages.

Ran out of glue.

Got bored.

Gave the dog a bath.

Looked like an orphan.

Did the dishes.

Slept.

TV.

Slept.

Ate.

Started this post.

Had a merry Christmas.

Slept all day.

Had a fun Christmas eve.

Got a bite mark ;)

Was drunk.

Was breathtaking.

Got locked out of the house.

Tried to climb over the wall.

Bell wasn't working.

Got electrocuted.

Got bruised.

Electrocuted again.

Got stabbed by the fence.

SMSed my sister.

SMSed her again.

Lost my temper.

Ate MacDonald's.

SMSed my dad.

My sister woke up.

Never leaving the house without my keys again.

Went for dinner last night.

Yum yum.

Prawns, calamari, and squid heads.

My friend went with.

Stuffed.

Took garlic butter take-away.

Still feel stuffed.

Need to write here more often.

Need to apply for a job.

Got my certificates.

Three distinctions.

Need to quit this job again.

Found love.

Ex.

Fake love.

Good times.

Went on holiday together.

Had to save birds from bricks.

Stew.

Had to save my self from flip-flops.

Hurts like hell.

Self defense.

Hand marks all over his back, arms, legs, and torso.

Funny as hell.

Couldn't sleep.

Too hot.

Fell asleep.

Got woken up.

"Are you going to sleep the whole day?"

Happened again.

Went to the dam.

Made jokes.

Was lying on the back seat of my car.

No tents?!?!?!

He fell asleep.

Front seat is uncomfortable.

Shifted around.

Smoked a cigarette.

Moved stuff around me.

Smoked another cigarette.

Fell asleep.

Got tickled.

"Why did you leave me?"

"You looked comfortable...

I fell off."

Drove to buy beer, worms, and juice.

Went to work.

Should have stayed home.

Sleep.

Good, healthy, sleep.

Have to work tomorrow.

Saving up.

Tattoo.

Smiley face.

William Shakespeare.

Merchant of Venice.

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

From another movie.

The Pianist.

World War II.

Fubar.

Real German is Furchtbar.

Terrible.

Saving Private Ryan.

"We're in business."

I want a business.

So does my friend.

We have ideas.

Need money first.

Need lots of things.

Need or want?

Not the same.

I want what I need.

I don't always need what I want.

That is what dreams are made of.

Created my OWN quote.

"If you push me I will resist, if you lead me I will follow."

Daddy issues.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. - Trey Parker

Pugnacitas

The desire to fight.

I've become fed-up with a lot of things in this country of mine. Corruption, fraud, extortion, racism, and now, the secrecy bill, along with mass murders, rape, armed robbery, theft, and illiteracy along with being uneducated.

There is so much that our government can do for us, but seize from doing either through corrupt activities, or laziness, or just out of incompetence.

I watched "The Baader Meinhof Complex" a few weeks ago, and it made me think, although I'll never go through with it, that starting a terrorist organization isn't such a bad idea.

Ulrike Meinhof said:

Protest is when I say this does not please me.
Resistance is when I ensure what does not please me occurs no more.

Protests are occurring all over South Africa for numerous reasons. And its not really changing anything. Maybe its because we dance in public to show how unhappy we are. It sounds really intimidating, doesn't it?

And then we have our uneducated, illiterate municipal workers that want more pay for cleaning our streets and taking away our garbage by, GET THIS, throwing out all the trash in the streets they need to clean. I think a nice solution for this problem is to have people who want to work stand in line, like you see in old movies about the Great Depression in America, and give the people a days work, after working, they receive money. There is no job security in it, but at least you get people that want to work instead of begging all over the city. If they aren't pleased with the pay, they won't show up for work. Problem solved.

Our stupid Secrecy Bill (The Protection of Information Bill 6 of 2010), is the biggest Nazi scandal since the second world war, and if the ANC stays in command, we will become Zimbabwe, Kenya, Democratic Republic of Congo, and all the other godforsaken countries of Africa.

The Protection of Information Bill states:

To provide for the protection of certain information from destruction, loss or unlawful disclosure; to regulate the manner in which information may be protected; to repeal the Protection of Information Act, 1982; and to provide for matters connected therewith.

PREAMBLE

RECOGNISING the importance of information to the national security, territorial integrity and well-being of the Republic;

ACKNOWLEDGING the harm of excessive secrecy;

AFFIRMING the constitutional framework for the protection and regulation of access to information;

DESIRING to put the protection of information within a transparent and sustainable legislative framework;

AIMING to promote the free flow of information within an open and democratic society without compromising the security of the Republic,

If you read closely, all of the sentences contradict each other...

It starts small, just like Robert Mugabe did in Zimbabwe, you change a law here, you change a rule there, you do the hokey pokey, and voilà! You stay president for 24 years. Africa is in dire need of an intervention, citizens have started rising up against their dictators, and more of these uprisings will happen, hopefully sooner than later.

I will rather fight for political freedom, than be oppressed for the rest of my living years and have my offspring suffer the same treatment.

I read another interesting article a while back...

South Africa is the only country in the world where affirmative action is in the favour of the majority who has complete political control. The fact that the political majority requires affirmative action to protect them against a 9% minority group is testament to a complete failure on their part to build their own wealth making structures, such that their only solution is to take it from others.

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Was changing the names of cities, streets, airports, buildings, etc. really worth it? Making it impossible for white people to get jobs in this country, because most positions offered at companies are BEE positions. I'm not crying "poor white man", but if they want us to be equal, why not be equal and leave the past where it belongs, in history books. They say we are racist, we say they are. Fact of the matter is, we're all unhappy. We live in a beautiful country, and we are being punished for what old politicians did to this country. And with punishment, we're being extorted.

About a month ago, Jacob Zuma went to the United States to attend the United Nations General Assembly, but because the Presidential jet was undergoing a service, government HAD TO pay R6.3-million to get President Zuma to his destination.

Around R3.7-million was spent on the aircraft and crew, while the bill for fuel and handling was R2.6-million.

If you were President, what would you spend R6.3-million on?

I know all of this wasn't very well structured, but I am impulsive...

An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, pretty soon we will all be speechless blind people...

Losing friends

Throughout life we make friends, we burn down bridges and then fix them again. I've always had good relationships with all my friends, even though I don't see most of them very often.

Tonight I went out with an old friend, we've been friends since 2002. We talked and talked and shared a lot of secrets, we always do. Then we came home and talked some more, and then it came down to religion. I'm agnostic, he's a strong believing Christian.

He asked me if it makes me a better person if I don't believe in Jesus, and I replied no, and it won't make me a better person if I believe in Jesus. I am who I am.

He started preaching that I need to get my head straight. I've been working on it for 2 years now, my head is as straight as its going to get.

I told him about my involvement with Mormonism, showed him the famous banned Mormon cartoon, and then I told him about coming back to South Africa and realizing that Christianity is also flawed, and that I can't believe in people's mistakes. I believe in a higher being, not the flying spaghetti monster, or Elohim, or Jesus that did miracles that differs from each book.



He removed himself from the conversation and went home.

My closing statement: "I'm not evil, I'm not the anti-Christ, and I know what I believe in and who I am."

The world is so much bigger, with a lot more explanations, with religions that have a lot in common. I don't believe in a single religion, and if I had to, it would probably be Hermetic Qabalah.