Brain activity written down: December 2013

Sunday, December 1, 2013

From 33 to 25

Ok, I recently discovered an old diary of mine from 2007. I used to weigh 94 kg back then. These days I'm between 78 and 82 kg on any given day. This means that I'm the thinnest I've been in 6 years!

From a BMI of 33 in America, down to a BMI of 25.

Proof:

September 2008

November 2013


August 2013

I also can't really see the difference in these pics...

So how about this for size...

See the difference now?

How about the face?

December 2010

November 2013

That shows... Also, I went from a jean size 44 back to a 38. Almost in a 36...

What's Up

I recently discovered that if you want to know what's going on in a person's life, you should go through their phone... You get a pretty accurate idea of what's fictitious and what is reality.

To give an idea of what's up in my life, I have decided to share some of my secrets as no one has access to my phone, except for me.

Remember my ex? I do... I still see him too. Well, this is what happened after we broke up...

And then we kinda got back together or something, I'm not sure, all I know is I still have feelings for the lugnut, but I can't take him back because of hurt feelings and bad memories, which turned into this for him:

Well, that's my version, his was more morbid and mine was more comical.

And then my world turned into chaos. I'm just adding the pics with captions, it's another version of short and sweet:

Crying is not worth it.

According to Boondock Saints's Law, Cupid must die for doing horrible things to people.

I dusted myself off and started looking at my strenghts.


Basically what I realized...

I wanted to be Eden Sinclair again.

I wanted to be free as in Little Bird by Annie Lennox.

I wanted to calm down and become myself again.


Exactly!

LOL! It's funnier when you do it than just thinking about it...


I changed, I lost weight, and...

I stopped drinking.

Yup.

I did what I always say: "Cut your losses and move on".

I also cut myself off from some things.

And that's what happened, I got serious with myself.

I started thinking back...

Thought back a bit more... Ewwww!

And then started realizing exactly who I am. Get ready, I think I can be creepy...

I'm a shoot first ask questions later type of person.

I'm a daydreamer by heart.

I'm a premeditating bitch.

I really do think all men are addicted to porn.

I also like my sexuality.

I love romance and feeling sexy.

But I'm not really one for feelings, it doesn't work for me :(

I'm not as skinny as I would like to be, but I feel one hell of a lot better.

I still fantasize about a guy I have never met... But who wouldn't?

I still donate blood. Will be on donation 20 in 16 days.

I still take my happy pills. Paxil, Urbanol, and Tripeline.

And the pills make me high enough to burn with a baking tray and not feel a thing...

I edited my tattoo picture ;)

I'm working myself to death to be able to retire in 5 years.

I started biting my nails again because I'm so worried about everything ALL THE TIME!

Being stressed I don't always realize what I say to people and I tend to hurt people's feelings...

Maybe I should join the birds... But hey, it's for the birds :p

That's what I feel like sometimes. I don't care! And some people don't care about me...

But you soon realize who is there for you...

And who should just fuck off...

Well, that's not even half of it, but I think its enough...

Things have happened

Again I am guilty of not posting in ages, but I have good reason. To start off with, I found a new job, and left that job to become a waitress again. It pays extremely well, so, why not?

My pregnant friend hasn't been pregnant in over a year. I have posted about my godson, and he is over a year old now. He started walking a while back.

I still see my ex, because I do love him, but I don't see us getting married or dating again. Just too many bad memories, I have trust issues regarding him.

So yes... Good things have happened too.

The story of Mollie & Wors. Most South Africans know the TV series Mollie & Wors on Kyknet, but this isn't about that. About two months ago, just before Jonathan and I broke up, we came home. Across the road from our house there was a small crowd of people standing around. Being concerned we went there to find out what was going on. A girl, a few years younger than me, told us that she saw a man putting stuff in the garbage bin, but he looked suspicious. She went to the garbage bin and heard the sound of puppies crying. She took the puppies out and confronted the man, the man then turned and threatened her with her life. He left the scene, she waited by the bin for the police to escort her home, and then my ex and I arrived.

I took the puppies and told my mom "it's not my fault, I couldn't say no". I took the puppies because the girl who found them had rottweilers at home and they would have eaten the pups in one go.

How can anyone do anything like that to innocent dogs? I have to admit, if I could make every stray a pet, I would!

Here's some more adorable photos of Mollie and Wors:

Wors

Mollie

Cute, right?

Lessons in Life

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don't care back.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.