Drawing the line

So, the past few months have been one of the biggest roller coasters I've ever been on. Lessons have been learnt, and I've also learnt a lot about myself and what I want in life...

The boyfriend that made me feel so alive has been cut off. I've learnt that I am capable of loving and being loved. I've also realised that my white picket fence dream isn't worth it anymore. I don't want to bend over to try and make someone happy whilst I still have to deal with my demons.

After spending a fortune, literally, on a self-centered, impulsive kid, and not getting anything back in return except for insults and threats, I'm done...

I'm now the little whore who is ignoring anything containing romantic intentions. If you're wondering where that shocking phrase comes from, I'll explain. We broke up, and I ran back to the stupid ex that I feel nothing for... Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake.

I'm done with taking responsibility for someone's happiness. I'm done with making decisions revolving around someone else. I'm done with writing letters. I'm done with "I love you". I'm done with "I miss you". And I am extremely done with "I'm sorry".

This is just another rant about how messed up I am and what dumb mistakes I have made.

I'm not sad, just angry. Angry that I let myself go through with this. There were so many warning signs that I ignored. Against my better judgment, I kept going. At least I know I'm not a quitter. I don't give up, well, just until I really don't have a choice anymore.

These days, I'm putting myself first again. After all, this is MY life. Fair enough?

I'm on the starvation diet consisting out of coffee and cigarettes. I get enough sleep. I take my pills daily. And lastly, I work my ass off.

Pat on the back for me not being miserable.

I choose life.
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