Brain activity written down: March 2013

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Happy Birthday to ME!

So I turned 26 today, woopdi-fucking-doo... The birthday was great. My parents, my friends and I went out for dinner. Cindi baked me a cake and a cupcake.

It a butterfly! The candles was the things that come out of butterflies' heads... Feelers? And then dad ate it...

The cake was vanilla, with chocolate icing, and speckled eggs. Mmmmmmmmm...

My birthday party was a pool party, with 5 close friends.

Unfortunately nothing too interesting happened, but that was exactly what I wanted.

It was cool!

XOXOXOXO

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

So, the past few months have been one of the biggest roller coasters I've ever been on. Lessons have been learnt, and I've also learnt a lot about myself and what I want in life...

The boyfriend that made me feel so alive has been cut off. I've learnt that I am capable of loving and being loved. I've also realised that my white picket fence dream isn't worth it anymore. I don't want to bend over to try and make someone happy whilst I still have to deal with my demons.

After spending a fortune, literally, on a self-centered, impulsive kid, and not getting anything back in return except for insults and threats, I'm done...

I'm now the little whore who is ignoring anything containing romantic intentions. If you're wondering where that shocking phrase comes from, I'll explain. We broke up, and I ran back to the stupid ex that I feel nothing for... Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake.

I'm done with taking responsibility for someone's happiness. I'm done with making decisions revolving around someone else. I'm done with writing letters. I'm done with "I love you". I'm done with "I miss you". And I am extremely done with "I'm sorry".

This is just another rant about how messed up I am and what dumb mistakes I have made.

I'm not sad, just angry. Angry that I let myself go through with this. There were so many warning signs that I ignored. Against my better judgment, I kept going. At least I know I'm not a quitter. I don't give up, well, just until I really don't have a choice anymore.

These days, I'm putting myself first again. After all, this is MY life. Fair enough?

I'm on the starvation diet consisting out of coffee and cigarettes. I get enough sleep. I take my pills daily. And lastly, I work my ass off.

Pat on the back for me not being miserable.

I choose life.
Sent from my BlackBerry®

Lessons in Life

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don't care back.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

Brain activity written down

Thursday, March 28, 2013

hahahaha easter.jpg

Happy Birthday to ME!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The full truth about humans

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Drawing the line