Ice Queen

Well, its getting cold, very cold. And my new handbrake keeps on promising to come keep me warm at night, but nothing yet, our relationship hasn't matured to that level yet. My hands and feet are frozen, but at least I'm happy... Kind of happy... I am glad that I'm studying, and that I finally found someone, and that our Wi-Fi works, but then again, my dad fired our maid. She was stealing our food and clothes.

I am the maid now, not that I'm complaining, I suggested it. I like cleaning, I just don't like being used or told to do something, I want to do it out of my own goodwill. My dad's laziness is whats bothering me. Do this do that, my goodness, if we could chew his food for him he'd tell us to do that. He doesn't clean after himself, or help anywhere around the house, he just orders everyone around. He hasn't done the dishes in years, never mind ironing his clothes or just taking out the trash.

Except for that, life is pretty sweet. My friends and I went to the bush veld again this weekend, was fun, except for the cold, rainy weather. And the fact that none of them know how to smoke in a car, I swear I could've committed murder, thats how mad it makes me. If you're going to smoke in a car, at least smoke out the bloody window, and don't keep your cigarette in the middle of the car, and if you exhale the smoke, don't blow it in my face, not even speaking of all the ash on my back seat. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

The boyfriend and I... Well, we like each other, but I'm not even sure if we're going out. He hasn't asked me out, or changed his Facebook status to "in a relationship" yet, but I'm hoping that this would be a long term thing. I just need a good cuddle right now, its really getting extremely cold, and I get cold easily, which makes it worse. It will also be nice to get hugs and kisses, valentine's presents, and have dates, and not having to go to parties is a big PLUS!

And the funny thing is, we've talked about sex so many times, and I really think ravaging him would satisfy my hunger for a long awaited intimacy. And then fear strikes again, 2 years ago I slept with a friend, and well, it was anything but good. Not to be too mean or superficial, he had a very small terinterin. About a minute into the game, I just rolled over and told him that I was over it. He didn't think it was funny, but I can't stand it when I can't even feel him. So, I'm hoping the new one at least has something to fuss about.

He actually seems like spouse material. He has a job, he can cook, he's interesting enough, he's mature, and he is independent. But only time will tell if he can keep up with me. I am a handful, not very high maintenance, but definitely fussy. Oh, and I'm still going to get my tattoo. Just have to save my money and track down the guy that I want to do it. It's a pretty one, and it defines who I am. I stand for justice, and that is why I am studying forensics, and will continue to study it.

Oh, I almost forgot, my friend from Germany is coming to visit me. We're going on a road trip through South Africa. I am extremely excited, she is too. It's going to be beautiful, and hopefully we have nice weather.

That's it for today.

<3

April - the month of sex, apparently...

So, Easter weekend just passed, it was the birthday of the second oldest girl I looked after in Idaho. I miss the kids, still.

Besides that, I'm going to lose two toenails, because I went on a suicide mission with friends, except, they called it fun. 11 of us went hiking at Kaapsche Hoop, which is between Baberton and Nelspruit. Apparently we walked 6 km on day 1 and 6 km on day 2, but I swear on my grandmother's grave it was almost 10 km on the second day, and it was hard! Steep uphills, slippery downhills, climbing inbetween rocks, but at least the men helped me and my fat behind.

So, with all the protein bars and energy foods, I gained almost all the weight I lost again, which is absolutely awesome! Three days later, I'm back down to 95 kg, and I'm proud of it.

The scenery was spectacular, absolutely beautiful. Nights were cold, ground was slippery because of heavy rain, but climbing to mountain tops and looking over the horizon... Priceless.



So, to get to the heading. Easter. Well, I did some research, and according to google results, Easter was a holiday for fornication, the easter bunny and the eggs all represent sex. Nothing produces as much offspring as rabbits, and the Romans used to believe that all life come from eggs, which technically, is correct.

So, still no boyfriend, so, Easter for me, was all about chocolates. I am beginning to get lonely now, and I think its time to start meeting people, but as I saw today, boys aren't interested in fat girls. A guy at the gym made an extremely disgusting face at me, thinking that I won't see him. Well, I saw, and it made me sad, I didn't show it, but that was a fleshwound.

I started IM-ing. Something I havent done on my phone in ages. Met a few interesting guys, but thats not how I want to meet my boyfriend, so this is all for fun. LOL! Like last night, I got a guy excited by typing responces with less than 3 words. Was brilliant. Guys are easy, I just need to find MY guy. Someone that can put me on my place and take control.

Oh, HAHAHAHAHA! I almost forgot... One of my friends are in love with me. He made his Facebook status something like: I am so in love with you, and you can't even see it. I'm going to lose my mind! How can I show you how I feel?

I laughed.

Not my type, and the funny thing is, I told him this weeks ago! His own stupidity. So, lets add inteligent to my list of things, and a full set of teeth, and he has to be taller than I am, and he should be able to handle his alcohol, and lastly, have a stable life.

And now, is not really the right time for me to start dating, although I really want to. I started studying, but I don't seem to be motivated enough to finish, I'm weeks behind. Am I lazy? Maybe I'm just not used to studying anymore...

Anyway, have to pull up my socks and start moving. Double speed.

Hopefully I write a bit sooner again.